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2015-01-05 - NON CANON SCENE - Adam West Visits Gotham East
Cue background music! A heist is in progress, at a bank. Reports have come in that someone, someone in a lot of makeup, pulled off a heist earlier at STAR labs! Now he's stealing things with the things that he stole. It seems a little bit ridiculous, stealing things so you can steal things with them, but what with it being the Joker he's probably planning to gamble it away anyway. Then rob the donut shop across the street. But Batman was on the case! In this case, firing off his grapple. Nightwing and Robin were along, and this seemed admittedly too simple for the Joker's normal plans. Hence coming over in numbers. The oddest thing, though. Once Batman and Robi...Nightwing get a view on the target, they see that it's not...really quite Joker. It's LIKE Joker, but it's like it's being played by a Joker cosplayer. A look around verifies that this is the only Joker on premises. Waving around a gas gun in one hand and a miniature laser torch in the other, while his thugs stand around and cheer him on. Possibly the oddest thing is the fact that he seems to have absolutely no guard set. You could literally stand on the outside of the window and look in, and he'd be standing there comically not noticing. Batman goes in for a quick landing. By hand signals, Robin nad Nightwing are sent to circle around and flank. This is strange - Joker normally has goons out the woodwork, so they must be waiting in ambush or going to try and make a getaway. And this Joker clearly seems like a decoy.. Cassandra Cain climbs in through the vents. She is starting to get used to this method of entry. Appearing in the room, she rolls to cover and hides behind a desk. Which, after a moment, she realizes is almost unnecessary. "Ummm," she says into her mike. Glancing out from behind the desk, she looks. Pauses. Looks again. "It's....uh..." Confused! "He is...not fake. Real Joker." Behind his mask, Batman's eyes widen to a degree. He's almost about to ask Cassandra to confirm, when he shakes his head. If she says it's Joker, then it's Joker. <> Robin laughs along the comm < Cassandra steps out from the desk. She looks around, kind of...standing there. Walks RIGHT up to a thug and looks at him, then walks away. And doesn't get hit. Not that it was likely anyway, but she pauses, then turns and says, "So...fight?" And then finally the thugs start to try and beat us all up! Apparently they needed to be told to start. One of them goes to swing over at her with a fist that seems like it would be the type from a first grader over in the playground. Saying that these two are 'easy' would be dismissive to real children who had playfights. Joker looks up from getting punched. He looks like his makeup is bleeding, but he grins anyway and says, "Not pulling anything. But there's definitely some pushing involved!" And he pushes a button he's been packing around. Stole tech, might as well use it! And Batman flashes, a bright light, and Joker laughs as now batman has a bit of a paunch! And Cassandra completely ignores the punch, letting it bounce off. "Feels...kind of like...beating up kids." There's a flash of light, and Batman is blinded. Whipping his cape around to shield his face, throwing Joker over with the other hand as his cape goes up to shield him.. light seems to slow for a moment as Batman is hit by the beam.. Cassandra easily deals over with the two men, sending them tumbling down and hard right as Batman seems to be vanishing and the commlink to Robin and Nightwing cuts out! The thugs generally just get punched and fall down, yeah. Which is odd, because Cassandra tried to take them down in other ways and they didn't fall. Nerve pinches were ineffective. What the heck? "Umm..." she says, as static cuts her connection. She looks at Nightwing, then walks over and takes the button thingie from Joker. Joker gets to his feet, his makeup all fixed and his suit adjusted. It looks like he was never hit! Cassandra pops him one on the forehead to knock him back into the filing cabinets though. "What is...going on?" Flying backwards, Joker apparently was getting the stamp of approval as his head hit the filing cabinets and got slammed down over into them. "Oww.." Batman's body morphed, altered.. Where was bulky, technologically enhanced armor seemed to shrink down to simply spandex. What was a miniaturized utility belt filled with some of the most intricately designed electronics and weaponry in the world turned to sipmly a belt with yellow pouches upon it. Batman himself turned.. Muscular and lean, but without the hyperathleticism that Cassandra was familiar iwth. This was a man who was turning into someone without injury. Who was not marred over by the decades of penance inflicted upon his body and his soul for one moment in his life he had sworn to pay, not only to himself but to society. This was someone.. Who had different body language. Who had different motions and mannerisms as he fully came over into being and essence. "Joker you fiend what have you done!?" Wait, fiend?? Cassandra Cain looks at Batman. She's not really concerned with the Joker. Oddly, since she's normally kind of blown away by merely looking at the guy. She walks to where she can see Batman properly, and starts to giggle a little. She looks at Nightwing, then waves at him helplessly and looks back to Batman, and drops the 'button thingie' letting it roll under a table or something. She coughs, then actually cracks a smile as she tries to adjust to this situation. "Well...that is...unique." Then she scratches her head a little, in amused confusion. Batman poses in a way that Cassandra likely has never, ever seen Batman before pose like. If she had to put a word to it, it would likely be 'Superman'. Batman is posing like Superman. Inspired, full of hope. It's likely downright /strange/. Coming in for a landing, Nightwing quickly comes to a stop, flanked by Robin on the other side. "What in the name of.." Robin just smirks, "Pudge, I'd say. Nice cosplay. But we'd like our Batman back." Batman turns around, "Robin.." To Robin, "... A nd Robin, I presume?" To Nightwing. Who just twitches some. "And.. Batgirl?" Joker just grumbles, "Hey, over here, enacting master plan and.." Just putting his hands in his pockets, "Screw it, I'm gonig to get a coffee. I'll be back later." A much more familiar laugh emits from by the coffee machine. Joker, in all his glory, watching Joker and Batman and what the. Which probably makes sense to him somehow. "I have GOT to do this more often," he says, his voice reminding everyone of Luke Skywalker somehow. Well, it's a day for strange. Then the Joker stops being happy and is suddenly raging furious, grabbing Cesar Romero by the lapels and slamming him into a wall! "Who are you and why are you taking my shtick? There's only one Prince of Laughter!" A squeaky rubber chicken falls out of his coat pocket, laying on the floor like a rubber chicken. Batman whirls around to face Joker and.. Joker. "Joker, vile fiend! This is clearly a dastardly duo of devilish dynamics and destruction!" Somehow, Batman doesn't seem phased by there being two JOkers either. And both of them, while twisted and vicious, would read to Cassandra -as- Joker. Nightwing just went to resist the urge to bury his hands, "Uhm, everybody, I'll just note that it's really cool you two guys are in costume and everything, but we have actual bad guys to fight. And kiddies out playing dressup.." Robin just wasn't -quite- as capable of resisting the urge to giggle as he went to hold up a dual-rang. Cassandra Cain is flat-out laughing now. It sounds like she's not used to doing it. She falls down on her butt, eyes wide and brain kind of overloading a little bit. "But...they are all...real!" she says at Nightwing. "So wrong!" And Batgirl rolls over and bangs her head on a table leg. Cesar Joker says, "I WAS planning to steal some coffee actually. Since I am obviously not being taken seriously," he says, glancing at the Bat team with derision. Joker, the one who lives here, frowns and puts him down. He looks at Cesar and pokes his moustache with a finger. "This isn't your place, old man. But hey, if you got it, then run with it I always say!" Then he aims a gun at Batman's head without looking and tries to shoot Adam in the brain pan. Nighting just blinks at Cassandra falling on her ass, and his first thought is that Joker has deployed laughing gas, his hand going to yank out his normal gas mask and whip it down about his face as Robin does the same, the two moving over in slow motion as Robin's eyes go wide as he sees the somewhat sluggish older man being threatened by Joker with a gun, going to whirl and whip his dual-rang over at Joker and Joker. Robin's mentality is they'll figure out how to deal with these clowns when they're obth tied up and out of it. But Batman likely surprises -everyone- (other than Cesar Romero), "Guns! How despicable an act, Joker and Joker!" This is accompanied by a quick.. Did he just pull out Bat Anti Joker Gun Spray?? Joker looks at the Anti Gun Spray and blinks. Getting sprayed, he coughs, then says, "Seriously?" Pulling the trigger, the gun jams. Jams again. "SERIOUSLY?" the Joker says, louder? He puts the gun to his own head and pulls the trigger. It jams again. Then he tries to get a look at the bat spray, giving all the signs of disbelief. Cesar waves his mug of coffee, saying, "You can NOT tell me you didn't see that coming after all this time, old bean. Everyone, get them!" And like thirty thugs appear out of every possible nook and cranny and start trying to hit everyone as one Joker looks stunned and another sips his coffee. And Cassandra looks out from her floor space, bursts back into abject laughter, and falls down again. The thugs fight like people who have no idea how a fight works, but oddly it meshes -wonderfully- with Batman's fighting style. Which may or may not be an actual style. Nightwing and Robin are both staring at things slack jawed as the tossed dual rang misses. Robin is, "That's completely statistically imrpobable. There's no way that could have.." He's too caught up in babbling as Nightwing shoves him over to the side as the first wave of thugs comes over in! Batman calls out, "Quick Robin! help Robin! Robin, are you all right? I'll hold them off with Batgirl!" This is a little much for Dick to process about now.. Batman goes to charge in the first thug, and there's a sudden change as music seems to start playing from nowhere, and Batman goes to swing in over for a quick punch aimed at the thug's chin. *BOMPH!* There's an almost psychedlic flash on the screen as the omnomotopoeia happens, and nightwing just loses it, "holy fuck nuggets.." Batgirl actually manages to get to her feet somehow. She has this huge grin on her face as she sidesteps one thug and trips him into four others who just /happen/ to be there and go down with a visible sound effect! *WHAM!* ...which is not actually the sound you'd expect there, but it seemed to work. They flail a bit but don't seem to be able to get up again. "Batgirl is a....proud name," she says to Batman, kicking another in the stomach as she interacts with Adam West, and waves at Robin and Nightwing. "Just...hit things!" she says, getting the idea quicker than the boys. They do seem a little slow today. Our Joker, however, is down on the ground. He's under a desk apparently, while Cesar Joker fluffs his moustache, puts down his empty mug, and gets promptly hit by Batman and sent into the open vault! He emerges again after about five seconds, his arms full of cash! Which should have been impossible. Batman turns to face Nightwing, "Language, Robin! How can we stand up for the ideals of the city if otherwise we use such vulgar terms! I'll expect a written apology sent by you to the Commissioner to the citizens of this fine city.." Being walloped by another thug. Robin then loses it, falling to the floor in tears and laughter. Batman gets to his feet, "It's all right chum, they must be disoriented. Perhaps Joker has deployed a new sort of gas for whatever reason that got past their masks! It would explain Robin's use of the obscene vernacular!" Pausing to deploy some kind of gas, Joker runs past with money, lifting his knees high as he does! He stops, laughs dramatically as he drops a gas canister, and dashes toward the other side of the room. Which coincidentally is not actually an exit, but he doesn't bother checking first. Finding himself in a corner of the room with no doors, he frowns. That shouldn't happen. Looking at Batman, Cassandra punches a thug without looking, and gets in his face a little. "I am...Batgirl here," she says to him, trying to keep from bursting into a giggle. Serious, serious. "Best Batgirl I can...be. But you...are...different Batman. Why?" TRYING to get him to engage that brilliant mind. Whirling around to engage another of the hoodlums in fisticuffs. "You are Batgirl. Leige to an honorable name and doer of good deeds and a virtuous heroine and servant of Justice! I can see that." *BONK* "You don't need my approval or my blessing. You have it from the only one who's voice matters in this. And I'm sure she's as proud as ever." Somehow -knowing- that bit. Going to whirl around and then take out a larg e*CLANG* sign to try and whap it across a goon, "And I'm guessing I'm a Batman from another reality.. Just not this reality! Somehow my Joker coming here and meeting the dangerous denizen I can only guess is -your- Joker has somehow brought me here as some sort of a cosmic balance! We'll have to deal with them both!" He doesn't have to ask 'are you up for it'. She's Batgirl. he knows she is. And from under a desk, there's a familiar 'A-HA!' and our Joker comes up with the Button in his right hand, held high! "Another reality, and it's time for you to GO!" he says, glaring angrily at Batman. "I have enough trouble with ONE of you! You and your...ngh...WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LAUGH AT MY JOKES????" Cassandra grins at Batman, then spins and snaps a kick into a file of paper, sending it at Joker. Joker gets ready to press, and the button is knocked from his hand by a passing pile of paper, and there's a *THWIP* sign that appears for a moment in front of him. And he sighs, hangs his head, and says, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but what the HELL was that?" And the button device rolls over to Robin's foot, stopping there, as Cesar Romero sits on top of a filing cabinet pointing at thugs and laughing as they fall down while smoking a cigar, and while Cassandra fights back-to-back with Adam West. Robin still has a look of complete incredulity over on his face at these passing events, Nightwing is still erupting over in complete laughter at things. Robin cautiously goes to pick it up as the remote falls at his feet, "What the.." Despite the gravity of the situation, Robin can only respond over as he sees a giant 'Reverse' switch over on the remote. "Holy heck Batman." It feels right. Why does the remote have a backwards button!? Batman blocks a swing from a thug, going to send him flying away over to another duo, "Quickly, Batgirl! Let's see how much Joker likes a taste of his own medicine!" Yes, Batman is pulling out a giant pellet which reads.. 'Bat Joker Medicine' which is tossed over to Cassandra.. Joker backs up to a wall, then slides down it to the floor where he sits quietly for a moment, as the other Joker finds himself stuck in a closet. Coming out wearing someone else's dress coat, he checks the pockets for spare change. A thug slams into the wall next to him, propelled by Batgirl's right hook. Suddenly, there are no thugs left! As if it were planned that way, the music changes and gets dramatic and quiet. Cassandra looks at the pellet, and grins, then says "Which...Joker?" as she hefts the thing. She looks like she plans to use it a suppository. Our Joker says, "Just...whatever. I don't even know anymore." Batman faces off with Joker, "Joker, you know whatever dimension you bedevil, there will always be a Batman to stop you. So give in and admit defeat, you foul fiend!" Going over towards Joker dramatically. "And make sure both of them remember Batgirl that crime is somethingw hich never, ever pays! For Justice will always be there to collect, even when it's past due!" Cassandra Cain turns to Robin, then says, "Push the button." She nods to him, then adds, "and..pick him up," as she looks at Nightwing on the floor.. From the ground, Joker Prime says, "Not worth the signing bonus anymore, maybe I can get on with Disney." as he tries to crawl off. Still standing, Cesar Joker glances to Joker and says, "A villain should be worthy of the hero. Try a little harder, son." He then looks at Batman, and lifts his chin proudly. He says, and I quote: "And no matter how weak your villains are in this world, we will always be there. Though honestly, you need to train this one up a bit. See you next week?" Robin just looks like he's about ready to cry as physics seem to be going the route of.. He just nods dumbly over at Batgirl's instruction. "This never happened. This is all a dream." Nightwing can be seen nodding dumbly then over as he was positioned. "A very bad dream." There's a pose over from Batman, "You know it. And I'll be there to stop you. Same Bat Time.. Smae Bat Channel." There was a flash of light and a reversal of positions as Batman started to fade away.. Cassandra Cain lets Joker escape. She doesn't have it in her to go and hit him in the back of the head at this point. "Are you...okay?" she asks, as Batman morphs into Batman, and as Robin and Nightwing morph into ...well, sane people. And from the stairwell, Joker's voice comes out piteously, "no..." Robin's brain is no longer breaking even as he quickly assumes, "Joker knocked us for a doozy. It was some kind of gas." Nightwing nods a little bit too quickly. "Yeah, a new kind of Joker gas. WE fought it off. He's kinda out of it. it looks like it hit him too." Batman just.. Looks at the two oddly, and gives a stiff nod. "Secure JOker. Then we'll return to our patrol." Giving Batgirl a quick nod of affirmation. "And good job."